H G Mahatma Prabhu here writes to a devotee how to deal with children when they don’t listen and what to do when that might makes us angry..
Nothing can make you angry if you don’t allow it.
Don’t teach your children to respond to situations with anger; teach them to respond with kindness, understanding and help. How do you teach them? You act with kindness and understanding. Your kids will be just like you. You are their acarya. What they see you doing as they are grow up tells them that this is how to live, how to respond to difficulties, etc.
Make the decision to improve and pray to Krsna for help. Understand that He will help you only if you want to be helped. Once you deeply decide to improve it will not be difficult to make changes in your attitude. You have to take the first big step. Then Krsna will do His magic in your life.
One big test for us is to be nice to those we don’t have to be nice to. Of course, we must be nice to our superiors, so we do it. But to be nice to equals or juniors is more difficult because we can more easily get away with being unkind. However, we are meant to show compassion to juniors, not anger.
Anger sometimes has its place. It can be used to teach a lesson. For example, if a lesson cannot be communicated in any other way, we may show anger so that the children know we are serious. But understand two things: when we show this kind of anger, we are not angry, and we only rarely show anger. When we only rarely show it, they know you are serious and are thus angry for a good reason. When you show anger often, they won’t take it seriously.
I hope this helps you.
Hare Krsna, Mahatma Das