Suddha nama and sexual attraction
An excerpt from Jaiva Dharma by Srila Bhakti Vinoda Thakur
Vijaya: “Gurudeva, does that mean that unless one renounces wife and family one has no chance of chanting suddha-näma?”
Raghunatha dasa Babaji: “A serious devotee must renounce stri-sanga, the association of women. Nonetheless, if the gfhastha-vaisñava associates with his legally wedded wife without attachment and properly conducts his family affairs, one cannot say he is practising stri-sanga. The physical attraction between a man and a woman is called yosit-sanga, sexual attachment. A grhastha-vaisñava who is free from such carnal attraction can chant suddha-näma and achieve the ultimate goal of human life, krsaa-prema.”
This conversation shows us that the pure name of Krsna, comes when we reduce our sexual attachment. Thus the “pleasure” of sex is preventing us from moving closer to suddha nama thus preventing us from tasting the real nectar for which we are always anxious.
It’s a trade off. We have to make a choice. Every time we choose to enjoy sex, subtly or grossly, we are moving a little further away from suddha nama. Namabhasa is a bridge that takes us to suddha nama. Since we are standing on the bridge, it only makes sense that we should moving towards suddha nama.
One mantra chanted in suddha nama is so powerful that it will destroy our material life. When we come to suddha nama the whole world and everything in it will appear insignificant and useless and, like Bhaktivinoda Thakura, we will be feeling that there is nothing of value or relish in the three worlds other than the holy names.
Since our goal is to keep moving towards suddha nama, we should be enthusiastic to remove all obstacles that stand in the way of this goal. Otherwise, anything that undermines our forward march will only cause us frustration, even though it is materially pleasurable. This is the paradox of material life: pleasure frustrates us when that which is “pleasurable” moves us away from Krsna, the most pleasurable object.