Forgiveness is one of the greatest cures for victimhood. Unfortunately, not being a victim is uncomfortable for some people. It’s easy to see why a person who wants to remain a victim can’t forgive others- then they would have to give up their victimhood.
We should be glad the abuse is over. Are we really glad? No, we’re not. We relive the event over and over again and we often relive it with more intensity and suffering than when it originally occurred.
Giving up resentment is like any other kind of renunciation. We give up something we are attached to because we recognize it’s not good for us and that it is impeding our spiritual progress. Resentment is the weapon we use to punish another. Why don’t we give up this weapon? We don’t give it up because we are attached to it. It is the prized weapon we use to punish our abuser.
Lord Buddha taught that attachment is the cause of suffering. Lord Krsna taught that attachment is the cause of remaining in material consciousness and that material consciousness causes suffering. It’s clear that material attachment is not good for spiritual progress. What is not always clear is that punishing someone through resentment is a far greater attachment and thus, far more detrimental to spiritual progress than mere attachment to material things.